Video Synopsis: Joe Vogue is the deadliest man on two feet; he is able to catch a speeding bullet in his bare hands, he is raw, rugged and handsome. But he has one weakness – he's a wimp when it comes to women. And when the luscious Lisa sets eyes on Joe, he knows the biggest battle of his life has begun. But the course of true lust never runs smooth. Joe has upset the local Mr. Big, whose idea of a fair fight is an entire army of martial arts warriors against one. Normally this is no problem for our hero but he finds he is fighting off avenging Ninjas and the passionate Lisa at the same time! Will Lisa ever get more than a nibble from Joe? Will Joe wind up as mincemeat? Or will Mr. Big get his just desserts? (88 Mins)

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Views: I first bought this when I was about 14 or 15 because it had ninjas in it and honestly, I was all for buying anything with the word ninja in it around that time. Of course, having the scantly clad and very beautiful Andee Gray splashed over the cover, my friends and parents were very convinced I had bought it for other reasons - But I think my husband would disagree!

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There's really not much to this dreadful comedy, that had me laughing for all the wrong reasons. Michael Phenicie plays Joe Vogue, a well-dressed ladies man adept in the art of ninjitsu. He soon meets the beautiful and clumsy Lisa Thorne (Andee Gray) but as their spicy relationship kicks off, Joe finds himself in trouble with a local real-estate tycoon who has hired some deadly assassins to kill him. With the help of his mother, Joe must now protect the woman he bones – and, eventually loves – as well as train her in the art of ninjitsu, in a bid to stay alive and have more sex!! At this stage, I was sourcing as much Hong Kong cinema as I could possibly find and had seen some of the finest at this point, with my video collection growing fast. I knew from the look of this that I wasn't going to find anything that would get my adrenaline going, but oh boy – I was not expecting this. Completely played for laughs in the style of the hilarious Naked Gun and Airplane movies, this 1990 flick that clearly spoofs 9 ½ Weeks, is just plain bonkers and unfortunately falls flat on most of its gags.

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Director Aaron Barsky (or Worth as he is in this) has quite the credits behind him in the film industry and 9 ½ Ninjas was his directorial debut. Before that, he had worked as a second unit director or assistant director on titles such as Amityville 2: The Possession, Year Of The Dragon, The Equalizer television series, When Harry Met Sally, Friday The 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan and Pretty Woman. Thankfully, after this disaster of a film, Aaron went back to working for others only directing his second film in 2017 – again focusing on sex and boobs with Codename: Diablo! - as well as directing a couple of episodes for a television show. I have to say though, had this been in the hands of Mel Brooks or David Zucker, it might just have been a hit. Instead, due to weak direction and writing, the comedy seems overly forced and so badly timed. The film itself is bland and boring on a technical aspect, but a lot of US films were in this time period. Hollywood go-to Asian of the '80s and 90's Gerald Okamura plays the Master of course, ironically having just come off the equally unfunny Ninja Academy from the year before...

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Michael Phenicie and Andee Gray just work with what they have, and are watchable for the most part. Joining the film industry in 1980, Phenicie appeared in the super-fun Force: Five, and a host of television shows before landing this leading role in 9 ½ Ninjas. While it didn't make his career explode and offer any A-list roles afterward, Michael went on to star in more shows like popular US soap, Knots Landing, Angel, Alias, The L Word, and more. He was definitely a little busier than his co-star who only had an appearance in an episode of Dark Justice the following year, before disappearing from the scene altogether. Gray had some previous roles in films like Texas Godfather, Vasectomy: A Delicate Matter, and Dead Men Don't Die, and probably would have made something of a career had she went down the comedy route. Veteran television actress Magda Horout plays Gladys Vogue, who steals any scene she appears in and probably gets the funnier jokes of the film to be honest. That said, it's still not enough to make 9 ½ Ninjas a worthwhile watch – although there is worse out there!

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Overall: Not a vital part of your life, but will make you laugh more unintentionally than you think!